Troll Boy


One day I bought a box of Troll Boy Cereal,
With a free Troll Boy figurine inside; this couldn't be for real.
I ripped the box open, reached my hand inside,
Troll Boy Figurine could run, but he sure couldn't hide.
My grubby paws searched frantically, but could not find a thing,
There would be hell to pay if I didn't find my Troll boy figurine.
So I shut my eyes, and started to cry, "I want my Troll Boy now!"
Suddenly I stifled my sniffling, my hand held something, Troll Boy, ol' buddy, ol' pal.
I brought my hand out of the box, and looked at my glorious prize,
He was a sight to behold with his jutted-out chin and his bright red eyes.
I said, "Hi, Troll Boy, will you be my friend?" His eyes glowed bright red.
Then Troll Boy came to life, he began to jack-knife, and this is what he said:
"Hey, hey kid, how ya feelin, I'm fine. I've been inanimate for a long damn time.
Listen well and heed my rhyme. You'll become Troll Boy when the midnight bell chimes."
Then the figurine stopped, it said nothing more.
I was an ignorant fool, I knew not what lay in store.
Then something grabbed my attention! Golden Girls was on now.
Troll Boy's warning was forgotten. (At least for a little while.)
I watched the crazy antics of Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose.
How could this program have gone off the air? No one really knows.
After that I watched the highly less-successful Empty Nest.
It was a re-run so my mind wandered: "What if I had three breasts?"
I cleared my mind of those crazy thoughts, and turned the T.V. off.
Then I remembered the figurine's warning, and I began to scoff.
"Scoff, scoff!" I cried. "This is nothing but make-believe."
I had no idea what the figurine had up its sleeve.
I brushed my teeth, got into bed, and gave my prayers a whirl:
"Dear Lord," I prayed, "bless each and every Golden Girl."
I fell asleep, and when I woke the next day, I was extremely shocked.
I was enclosed in darkness, walls were around me, I was in a giant cardboard box.
I started to cry, but then I saw a light, and a giant hand reach inside.
Some serious whack shit was going down, maybe the figurine hadn't lied.
It took a moment, I had to ponder, but then I realized my fate.
I was now the Troll Boy figurine, trapped in a cereal box that I hate.