Ok, I should have posted this nearly a month ago, but what can I say, I'm a procrastinator...

The ongoing story of gile's torture from love ended just over a year from when it 'officially' began. I am somewhat better now, but I can never completely change, because there will always be a pary of me that still loves her, no matter how hard I try to start over.

This is her message from 12 April 2002:

You had gained forgiveness when I finally stopped dwelling on things like that from my past. I realized that being angry with you would do nothing but bad things for me, so, after thinking about it for a long time, forgiveness was the answer. And so essentially, the thing you seek has been yours since summer.

This was the short lived journal entry on the same day:

I asked Her for forgiveness for the things I had done during those four months that would create a year of hell for me. I can now move on, knowing that it was not hurting her anymore. Now, this can finally be the concluding entry to our story. This really is 'The Final End'...

Even when I'm not happy, if I see her, and notice that she is, it sort of brightens my day. That's because I know that I was the problem. If I only had told her that I was in love with her so much earlier, things might have turned out much differently.

"It's better to love and lost than to have never loved at all."
To that, I can only reply:
If I am in love, then all hope is forever lost