When you're born a lover, you're born to suffer...

That couldn't be anymore true in the case of the ever-torn gile. I'm still not sure if the last thing was love, lust, or infatuation. My heart says love, but my mind says lust.

I've been saying for a while that I don't believe in love; that it couldn't possibly exist. I know now, just as I knew then, that that was just completely untrue. I didn't want to believe, because I thought, that if I stopped believing, that my problems would disappear. That's not true. Even as I write this, I am in love. I still love Her, no matter how it pains me everytime I think of or see her. I am in love with someone else, whom shall remain unknown, for I haven't the courage to tell anyone but myself.

I guess that all of this is why I love Depeche Mode. Far too many of their songs are about people like me, and situations like mine. See You, Mercy In You, Black Celebration, In Your Room, Higher Love, A Question Of Lust, and Goodnight Lovers are only a few of the many, many, songs that, quite simply, are me.

Love and Lust. The basis of our being and the downfall of our hearts. We are Love, we are Lust. We all need something or someone that understands how we truly feel. For me, that is, and always has been, the music I surround myself with. Those that don't understand their Love and Lust are only doomed to experience it in the hard way. Believe me, I speak from experience.