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Writings > Released from my Hell

04 Apr 2002

Today is gile's birthday. That's right, gile really exists. The rest of this is a tale of my hell of the year prior.

Over the past year, I've been through a self-induced hell. I had believed that I was in love, and that it made everything. I couldn't have been more wrong. My obsessiveness repelled her and everyone else from me.

I see her almost everyday now. From a distance, though, because she no longer knows me. In the last year, I had become depressed and suicidal. By the end of that year, I had started finding people that would at least listen to what I had to say. I am not very happy still, I still have my problems.

I've said before that love doesn't exist, because everything always turns out badly. I was lying. Love exists, only in which the way we express it determines how we are in the end. After all I've been through, though, I know that I am still in love with her.

It's only when I lose myself
In someone else
That I find myself

It took me an entire year, but I have found myself. I am now able to escape the prison of self-torture. Finally, gile can have a happy birthday, for once in his life.