Writings > Once Again, I Dream of Sleep
18 Jun 2004
When we sleep, there are no lies.
There's only one thing I could ever ask for in a relationship: being together. Nothing more. Not money or possessions. Not even sex rates very high, though it is a plus.
This is explained no better than by the act of sleeping together. Not sex, just sleeping. Bodies close together, in an embrace, at their most peaceful moment. If it is enjoyable, and you actually do sleep, then you truly have found someone. You cannot lie while you're sleeping. Your body takes over, doing what it really feels to do. If you wake up in eachother's arms, then you wanted to be close, and you want to be together.
I had that once. I do miss it. There were many a morning that I awoke with Elizabeth in my arms. And every time, I was happy. I even think that she was happy, but that I'll never know. I've awoken in her arms as well, and I was happy then, too.
To enjoy spending time together, to wake up holding the one you love, knowing that they love you. That the world could end tomorrow, and you know it would be okay, because you have found your "one." That's all I could ever wish for. I thought that I had had it, and that's what hurt me so badly.
It's all idealistic, I know. But it's these things that keep us going. That there's something out there to try to reach, that's greater than yourself.