Cartoon Laws of Physics

Cartoon Law I

  • Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

    Cartoon Law II

  • Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.

    Cartoon Law III

  • Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.

    Cartoon Law IV

  • The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

    Cartoon Law V

  • All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

    Cartoon Law VI

  • As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

    Cartoon Law VII

  • Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.

    Cartoon Law VIII

  • Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

    Cartoon Law IX

  • Everything falls faster than an anvil.

    Cartoon Law X

  • For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.

    Cartoon Law Amendments

    Cartoon Law Amendment A

  • A sharp object will always propel a character upward.

    Cartoon Law Amendment B

  • The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.

    Cartoon Law Amendment C

  • Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries. They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

    Cartoon Law Amendment D

  • Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.

    Cartoon Law Amendment E

  • Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which cartoon laws hold).

    Cartoon Law Amendment F

  • Any bag, sack, purse, etc. possessed by a cool character is a tesseract - any number of objects of any size may be placed in it or removed from it with no change in its outer dimensions.

    Cartoon Law Amendment G

  • Characters can spin around and change into any set of clothes appropriate to the situation.

    Cartoon Law Amendment H

  • Rabbits can dig a burrow from here to there in less than 20 seconds and emerge spotlessly clean.

    Cartoon Law Amendment I

  • Movements are accompanied by funny sound effects.