Archives Jan2001 - Dec2003

The Lev Forum: General Discussion: Love and Relationships: Archives Jan2001 - Dec2003
By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Thursday, January 31, 2002 - 04:54 pm:

You know, I am actually surprised we didn't start this topic years ago. All ya need is love! Talk about what's going on in your life - or chat about the ethical aspects of relationships. In short, what is so vital about our interactions with other people that so fuel us and complete us? Want to talk about the political / socialogical viewpoints, alternative lifestyles (or lovestyles!) or just chat about that cutie you ran into at the laundrymatt? This topic covers it all.

In short - a discussion of human relationships, love and friendships and their meanings.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Thursday, January 31, 2002 - 05:36 pm:

I abused my hip flexors in spinning class last night (the pain! the pain!), how will this affect my love life? =)

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Thursday, January 31, 2002 - 07:25 pm:

ummm... You won't be able to tuck your heels behind your ears for a few days, perhaps even a week, until they feel better?

By Kelly (Vampy) on Friday, February 01, 2002 - 12:43 am:

hmmm.. love.. what is there about love?? hmm.. well.. i do know that when i fell in love 2 summers ago.. i wuz on top of the world.. and then he had to move, to help his brother's marriage that wuz on teh rocks.. but even so, we didnt break up.. tried teh long distance thing.. all that got me wuz get me deeper into my depression that i apparently had for about.. 10 or 12 years but never came to light.. now, i just wish that he would let me know he's ok. i keep getting this really bad gut feeling that something really bad happened to him, and when i mean bad, i do mean BAD. dont get me wrong. if he loved me, he wouldnt have to actually MOVE to iowa, but we agreed to stay freinds.. but still.. i cant seem to shake off this feeling that trouble kept following him.. and this time, his life is at stake? its not a good feeling.. at times, it keeps me up at night.. i mean, i havent heard from him for over a year.. he has to be alive, still, cuz my mails still havent been sent back to me, post-style.
other than that, things are ok, though i cant say i see everything comes up roses where it comes to love, cuz every guy i meet, they always dont really know what they want in life. for love. for themselves. this is the very reason i HATE valentine's day. i dread it every year. and its coming again. well.. i'm going out that weekend. dressed in a little red dress. for myself. nobody else. who knows what could happen?? life. love. joy. finally a reason to enjoy valentine's day.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Friday, February 01, 2002 - 10:22 am:

Hmmmmmm... I'd think that he'd be in contact with you if he really cared about you. Maybe he doesn't have the guts to tell you that you're in his past now that he's moved away? Sometimes it's easier for guys simply not to say anything at all than to come out and admit what's really going on. I think you should move on, and maybe find a man with a little more courage than him.

I dislike valentine's day too, though it is a good excuse to get laid if you can.

By Vengence is Mine (Knight_Hawk) on Monday, February 04, 2002 - 12:08 am:

Valentines day is for love sick fools who have no clue that for all their devotion and such will end up alone and sad in the end as they either die before the one they love or after. It is also a holiday made by the card and candy companies to boost their yearly sales. Go on prove me wrong, I personally lothe the day had generally watch as it passes by just like any other day to have no effect on my life any more than St. Patricks day. Now that I've vented I'm going to go have a beer and drown my sorrows.

By Vengence is Mine (Knight_Hawk) on Monday, February 04, 2002 - 12:10 am:

And for the record love is (as I recently heard it put) a legalized for of insanity. It hurts more than heals and is the result of more pain than can be measured. To quote the song, Love Stinks.

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Monday, February 04, 2002 - 02:43 am:

You're just saying that cuz you don't have a girl to love who loves you back. Look at Sol & Angie. Look at me & Brenna. Look at Eric & Faye. You'll find somebody someday and your whole life will change. You'll see...

By Vengence is Mine (Knight_Hawk) on Saturday, February 09, 2002 - 12:17 am:

Sorry Fred but the converted and whipped don't get a say in how I feel. besides I've had too many bad experiences with psychotic girls to look at it any differently at this point in time. In fact the more I think about it all the girls that have been attracted to me have psychotic. Maybe it's time I thought about preisthood.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Saturday, February 09, 2002 - 11:12 am:

Vday sucks if you're alone. Vday is just another excuse to lavish attention/gifts on your signifigant other if you have one. So when everyone around you gets to be all lovey-dovey it makes you SICK. *YACK*

As for all the psycho-chicks you meet, where do you usually meet them? Bars? Starfucks? Have you tried the internet? Lots of horny people on the internet...

I'm gonna go now and gift-wrap the bottle of fine French pear brandy (with the pear in the bottle) I got for my sweetie for Valentine's day. Ok, Whipped: yes, converted: no.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Saturday, February 09, 2002 - 11:14 am:

Oh and Fred, Faye & Eric are married... Sol & Angie are married... Hmmm... You and Brenna are??? Umm.... So like when are you guys gonna do the deed?

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Monday, February 11, 2002 - 01:02 pm:

man, why don't you guys try using just one foot next time, instead of using both to Jump up my A$$. I was just trying to cheer you up, Damien, sheesh, sorry for coming across as "converted" and "whipped"

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Monday, February 11, 2002 - 05:40 pm:

I kinda think it's better to be whipped (within reason) than not get any...

By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 02:30 pm:

Fred,

Marriage isn't a bad thing. Don't be mad! Trust me, if it was so unbearable, I wouldn't be in it! There just comes a certain time when you wake up, look at your lover, and say, "Ya know, I could do this every day." Of course, some never get married, or some marry more than one (not legally in the US). That's what I call 3 peas in a pod!

Sol

By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 04:58 pm:

Here's one 4 ya:

Recently, a friend of mine and her live-in guy found out that a female friend had been sending romantic emails to the guy. The guy didn't do anything about it, apparently didn't gather the courage to tell her off, kind of ignored the situation instead. All 3 people are good friends of me 'n' Angie.

Anyway, the femaleSO finds the emails and totally flips out. She tells the live-in-guy that he is never to see or talk to their female friend again ever.

The question:

Admittedly, the reaction is justified, but under the circumstances, is it better to find a way to forgive? Under what circumstances should it be allowed? Can friendships be repaired, should they be?

They say it is better to forgive and forget... isn't that what love is all about? Or is it appropriate to act in a very unloving way in order to protect love, and what does that mean?

IDEAS Please! This one's been eating me up for weeks, I am glad I'm not that guy tho!

Sol

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 05:26 pm:

Simple: 3-way.

Problem solved, guy is happy, girl chasing guy gets guy, girl who has guy keeps guy, everybody is satisfied.

Either that or the 2 girls end up hating each other for all eternity because 1 thinks the other is trying to steal her man away. I say, there should be plenty of love to go around, and if they all 3 are friends, the girls should discuss the option of sharing. After all, it is the first thing we learn in kindergarten, right? "Share your toys now, and don't be mean" I rest my case.

:)

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 05:47 pm:

FemaleSO will be known as "Jill"
MaleSO will be known as "Jack"
Offending email chick will be known as "Alice"

Forgive and forget is a cliche. First of all, many people don't deserve forgiveness because:
1) What they did was too severe/damaging/fubar
2) They aren't sorry enough for what they did
3) They haven't earned redemtion.

I think that in some cases people have every right to be angry. That is a perfectly natural and healthy reaction to certain situations.

In turn, many people shouldn't OFFER forgiveness in some situations because:
1) They haven't healed/found closure due to the disruption the offending person caused.
2) They are under religious pressure to forgive, even forced to believe that rage/hatred/sorrow is not something they are allowed to feel.
3) More often than not, "forgiveness" doesn't do anything to solve the actual problem.

"Jack" should have made his emotional unavailablity clear to "Alice". Instead he chickened out, probably fearing that the situation would get ugly if he confronted his friend. That wasn't the best decision.

I think "Jill" is entitled to feel angry. She's upset by emails, but even more upset that "Jack" kept this from her which gives the impression that he had something more to hide. I wouldn't be surprised if she feels a little betrayed; we're talking about trust here, which takes years to build and seconds to destroy.

Unless "Alice" moves on and finds a different guy to hit on, she poses a potential threat to the relationship between "Jack" and "Jill". Friendships are impossibe if ulterior motives exist.

Fault is shared equally between "Alice" and "Jack". "Jill" has every right to feel the way she does, but she doesn't have the right to command "Jack". But it would be appropriate for him to stay away from "Alice" knowing it would hurt "Jill" if he doesn't. Should he decide to stay in contact with "Alice" it would be at his own risk.

"Alice" owes "Jack" and "Jill" a HUGE apology and an explanation at the very least. But that doesn't mean she deserves forgiveness, after all she did try to steal "Jack" away from "Jill", totally wounding any friendship that the three of them might have shared.

That's all I can think of for now. Anyone else got some ideas?

By Technomage (Houdini) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 06:35 pm:

"Jill" owes Jack an appology for at least one thing:

1. The last time I checked. Personal email is well, call me crazy, PERSONAL. Granted "Jack" might have done a better job of securing his email, but she still commited a very serious
violation of both trust and privacy.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 07:01 pm:

Oh yeah, you're right about that one. Bad Jill, bad!

By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 09:29 pm:

Yah, Nat, U make a lot of sense really. I think the most potent points that give me pause are your conditions for forgiveness. I think it only matters if Alice were repentant. Otherwise, it isn't any more than words. As for Jack, I think he's pretty clueless about it all, IMO, and mebbe should get smacked with a newspaper. To his credit, he didn't do anything to forward the sticky situation, but on the otherhand, didn't do a lot to stop it.

So 'dere U go!

Fred, I like your 3-way idea, too. Of course, that brings up all different questions! Hypothetically speaking, it seems like a good idea for people to share everything, even mates! That's what the Martian said in my New Fave Book, Stranger in a Strange Land. But in my experience, people are possessive. People like to own each other! Ha ha, I'd feel pretty funny about another guy in MY bed...! But is that a valid feeling or a silly society-imposed feeling? Are there reasons to stay monogomous-for-life, such as you eventually get old and ugly and then nobody will "choose" you anymore? (Apologies to those of us here who are already ugly - so sorry!)

I think for 90% of people, sticking with just one partner who you have a long positive history with is the best plan... but it begs the question I'd say, is it the only right way?

Anyone can say, "Hey, people can do whatever they want, so get off their backs," BUT does human nature doom such a situation to eventual failure every time?

It's getting too late, time 4 bed!

Ciao!
Sol

By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Thursday, February 14, 2002 - 08:20 am:

Ha ha ha, you all smartly dropped THAT one like a hot potato! :P

Sol

By Kelly (Vampy) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 02:23 am:

well, now.. the big V-day has passed, and st. paddy's day has passed as well.. now we're to expect people dressed as adorable bunnies.... while all of this is cute, at times, during holidays, it's frustating, celebrating it without someone by your side ..
speaking of which.. fred. (the only one who's a fox here... :P) you and brenna have been toghther for how long??? 6 years?? 7?? what are you waiting for?? i imagine she'd love to dress in white, see you all so handsome in a tux.. all this, so you can get onto the next step.. whatever life leads you.. whether children, a house full of pets, or whatever.... i get the feeling you want to be like.. goldie hawn and kurt russell. they didnt get married. and yet still happy. but dont you think brenna would like you to see her in a gown of white, and express teh love you have toghter with your friends and relatives?? or do you hvae cold feet?? or is it all frostbitten, and no feet left???? :D

wake up, look into your heart and ask her!! those of us without a sweetheart would be living vicariously thru you guys at least until we finally landed a man/woman. and this is not solely cuz we are lonesome when trying to get some sleep at night (tho it could be fun..!! :P or go buy a toy! agh!)

kel

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 09:10 am:

Kelly, I went through a long period without companionship as well... I have a website for you:

Toys in Babeland... Naughty!

More toys than you could possibly need for that (or those) neglected orifice(s). They have a store in the Lower East Side- their staff is so knowledgeble about their products it's scary.

Now, don't tell me you people are shocked. To assume none of us gals masturbate is like claiming that one doesn't breathe.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 09:13 am:

*poke*

Oh and Fred, I gotta agree with Kel on this one. What the hell are you waiting for? Or do you just not want to get married? Either way is cool, whatever floats yer boat- but the suspense is KILLING all of us. What's up?

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 09:34 am:

Why do you all care? It will happen when it happens, and it happens to be a very private matter, and I like to keep things I consider privete, well, PRIVATE. But your concern is duly noted, and rest assured the two of us aren't gonna split in the forseeable future.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 10:28 am:

Hey, I'm just doing my sworn duty of busting yer balls =) It is one of the many divine purposes of my life:

1) Make tons of money. (I'm working on that)
2) Get laid and be happy. (Yup)
3) Eat the enemy for breakfast. (Yup)
4) Annoy the crap out of Fred at every opportunity. (Yup)

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 11:21 am:

hey, ummm, when ya get to that tons of money part, don't forget about old friends, m'kay? :)

By Margravine (Ranger) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 12:50 pm:

Well, if it makes you feel any better, GF, I don't care, never did ;) and please, PLEASE keep your private life private, m'kay

By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Friday, March 22, 2002 - 07:23 pm:

Yah, Marriage is just a piece of paper. Nothing more. That's what I say! The emotional commitment is what's important. However, when I decided for myself that Angie was my def. 1-4-ever, I said, "hey, it's just paper, but since I've already decided on Angie, why not get th' paper?" So we did. And it was a gr8 party! heh heh...

For a long time Angie didn't want to get married b-cause it represents the historical ownership of men over women. You know, a lotta political mumbo-jumbo. But later, we mostly did it for everyone else, and to make it official - not really to the State (darn them taxing a marriage cert) but just to announce to our friends, really.

Kennya believe Me 'n' Angie have been married almost 2 yrs now? WOW!

Sol

By One who treads lightly and humbly (Bits) on Saturday, March 23, 2002 - 04:17 pm:

Love? hmmmm...

Love was not the girl...

...who announced to me in an upscale restaurant that she was a skinhead.

...who made me promise I'd never leave her then ran off with someone else.

...who was allergic to sulfites (found in beer and wine) and accused me of trying to kill her when my list of suggested restaurants for dinner included Hops.

...who got in fist fights with her father over church.

...who led me on for several months saying things like, "I don't know if I like being held by you, because it's you or because I haven't been held by anyone in a long time."

...who was a married minister at the end of her second failed marriage that decided to screw my roommate and play us against each other for a year.

...who told me that I was too good to be true and things like that just didn't happen to her so she couldn't date me.

...who invited me to go on a date with her and some friends, then introduces her boyfriend.

...who told me that I should've made a move in the past even though she was with a guy that she's now engaged to.

(yes, those were all individual dating experiences)

Love is...

...something elusive.

...extremely confusing.

...a chemical reaction.

...an unfulfilled romantic notion.

...that last shred of hope we all cling to.

...something I've never known.

...something I'd like to still believe in.

...not sold on an infomercial. (Love! 4 easy installments of $19.95)

...a girl that I'm looking for and hope to spend the rest of my life with.

...hopeless.

By Yo' Daddy (Sol) on Saturday, March 23, 2002 - 06:50 pm:

Chowza, tough rocks, dude! I tell ya, I know that I was a lucky man to find my beautiful Angie. My pre-Angie experiences were pretty flaky, too. Love is precious, and true love is rare. But that doesn't mean ya can't try! Sometimes, the adventure is where the answers lie, life is a journey, not a destination. So don't give up hope, and like an old poem said:

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with...

OK, so I'm not a poet, sue me :P

By Vengence is Mine (Knight_Hawk) on Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 11:56 pm:

Love is an untangable feeling that resides somewhere deep in the soul.
It is either given too easily or not at all.
It is felt by many but shared by few.
But no matter what it usually requires two.
A feeling of warmth, to console the lost.
A feeling of cold, too much like frost.
When truely shared little can break it.
When felt alone few can take it.
Hollow is the person bound to nothing.
Love returned can be everything.
Lost are the ones who give it freely.
Found are the ones who make you pay dearly.
Love of a soul last forever.
Death can not seperate it ever.

By Technomage (Houdini) on Thursday, August 08, 2002 - 04:36 pm:

This weekend I'm going to go out to the clubs again with my roomate in the hopes of meeting someone nice. I don't know why I do it since
it has proven itself time and time again to be
both futile and a huge letdown.

First of all, the music at most of the clubs in Syracuse come in one variety only, Crappy.
My roomate calls it "Pimping Hip-hop". I call it crap.

What the hell ever happened to tecno?
Take a hike Nelly! It may be getting hot in here,
but your song still sucks arse!

Secondly, everyone is shallow as hell at those clubs. If you don't got the looks, they don't want to talk to you, let alone dance with you.

Third, it sucks to come home smelling like cigarettes. The clubs would be better if they were
smokeless.

So why do I do it? Because my roomate needs a designated driver and I care enough to not let the guy drive when I know he's probably going to drink. So the agony continues.. Maybe he'll get a girlfriend as a result of one of these outings and
I can go into retirement.

One can only dream...

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Thursday, August 08, 2002 - 10:59 pm:

In response to Bryís quest for chicksÖ.. Don't dream, go out there and find them!

Sorry if this sounds like "dear abby", but what the heck, just in case there's something you guys don't know.

Nat's advice to single men:

In the dating world, the man is at a slight disadvantage (in my opinion). Women aren't always very approachable, and there aren't many places to meet nice single ones. Forget clubs and bars. They are places for going out with an existing group of your friends to enjoy the nightlife, but NOT to meet new people. Some may disagree, but unless you're a perfect 10 with animal magnetism the theory holds true: you're not going to find anyone there. You may as well save the money you would spend in drinks and cover fees and head out to a striper club. At least youíd get a lap dance for your money.

Young single men of the world, you have three options you must choose:

1) Swing.

2) Don't swing (search for a monogamous partner)

3) Celebacy (in my opinion you may as well neuter yourself)

Think hard, decide what you want. Sex, or a relationship with sex (to hell with celibacy!).

Nat's dating advice for the non-swinger:

Clubs and bars suck for finding romance. Not to mention girls are downright picky, though we have every right to be.

Do not despair young grasshopper; you have many options open to you.

1) Make new friends in the workplace and expand your network. More people in your social circle = more girls you will eventually meet. It never hurts to network. At the very least you'll get out more.

2) Don't have unrealistic expectations. Lots of people are liars, basketcases, gold-diggers, have too much mental baggage or like to play games- and you will have to sort through them. The single life can suck, we've all been through it. So just hang in there and the odds are that you will find someone EVENTUALLY.

3) Donít be led around by feminine wiles. If you want a good girlfriend who's going to love you, use your big brain (exclusively) for selecting the ladies. If not, you get what you deserve. Women are good at using their charms to get what they want. You have been warned. Donít get me wrong, there are lots of nice girls out there, youíre just not going to find them by following the demands of your twig and berries. Do you think the first chick to stick her boobs in your face is going to be around to make you chicken soup when you have the flu? I doubt it.

4) Be the sharp-dressed man, or at least seem like it. Smell good, and look good. Be clean, be tidy. Use a good cologne (just don't overdo it), keep your hair neat and dandruff-flaky free (girls get REALLY grossed out), your nose-hairs trimmed, your nails cleaned, your teeth white and minty, your underarms funk-free, your face clear (get skin cleanser if you have to). Work off the gut if you have one, or at least try to. If you make the effort to take good care of yourself it will show. Think I'm kidding? If you can't look at yourself in the mirror and say: "Damn, if I were a girl, I'd wanna boink me!" then do you think an actual female will? Looks count, but only to a certain degree. It will help with initial attraction; but if an eligible, desirable bachelorette sees thereís nothing beyond a cute façade sheíll go elsewhere.

4) Be yourself, and don't give a shite about impressing the gal with conquests, material wealth and status. Any girl you'll want to have in your life isn't going to care about how much your stock portfolio is worth; it's none of her business anyway. Mind you this isn't an excuse to act like a creep or a jackass. You don't want to look like a loser either. Just keep it simple: be yourself. If she likes you, she will want to see you again.

5) Is your ego healthy? Can you withstand a little rejection? If not, do what you have to do to heal yourself and regain your confidence BEFORE you venture out to find a girlfriend. If you have no confidence and self-esteem, you are not going to attract someone who does; and if by chance you do they will not stick around long. Take this from someone whoís been on both sides of that situation.

How to find the chicks:

1) Expand your circle of friends, just for the sake of getting to know people. Like I said before, the more people you know, the more chicks you will meet. Women are more comfortable meeting men through their friends.

2) On-line dating services can be hit and miss, but itís worth a try. If you want to try it, read on. Otherwise do as you will. Write an inventive sales pitch about yourself and always enclose a picture, block out the eyes or something if you want to remain somewhat anonymous. If you donít have a decent picture that is recent, then GET ONE- donít use outdated photos (unless you honest to GOD look the same), thatís being deceitful. Be CORRECT about your statistics and measurements. If you lie, expect rejection when it comes time for a first dateÖ Photos increase your chances. If the dating website is good, paying for the extra perks for the extra services it to offer for ďpaying membersĒ might be a good idea- but only if it will make on-line dating easier for you.

- You are not likely to get responses from girls- but thatís not the point of putting up an ad. On most on-line dating communities the ladies are vastly outnumbered by men, and constantly bombarded by messages from hundreds of guys. Since they have lots of messages to sort through, they donít usually spend a lot of time looking for other guys' web profiles on the site. The catch is that YOU have to do the dirty work and sort through all the profiles. Once you have a selection of the eligible bachelorettes, send the lucky ones little note. Include a little about why you find them interesting (excluding her boobs), and tell a little about yourself that you didnít include in your profile. If she likes what she reads she will then check out your profile (which is why you must have one in the first place!) and hopefully she will take the bait. Donít mention sex, donít mention your penis size, and if an email conversation takes off with luck youíll get her phone number in good time.

- When you meet: Donít expect chemistry in person even if the phone conversations go well. Meeting someone for the first time changes everything. You might be the one to decide the person is not what you expected. Donít be afraid of rejection, and donít be afraid to reject. Donít be ashamed to have standards. For example: Betty decided to meet a guy who she met on line. They had enough in common, his picture looked good and after talking with him for a few weeks over the phone Betty thought it was reasonable to assume he wasnít a psycho rapist with body parts in his freezer. When She met him at the designated plac she almost walked right by him by mistake BECAUSE he lied about his appearance, his height, his weight and he emailed Betty a picture that was outdated by 10 years. To her dismay he recognized her immediately. So she decided to be polite and continued on with the date (its called manners). The conversation was good, but there was no spark. She didnít find him attractive, and even if she did he came on too strongly (and WITHOUT permission) for her taste. A note to you men- never try a move unless you know, without a doubt that she wants you to. Just because sheís polite donít mean a thing. However, if she moves closer to you, touches your arm when she laughs and things like that- then maybe go for a kiss when the date is over. So back to Betty's little story, did she ever call that guy again? What do you think?

-Donít expect a response. This is hit and miss, but if you canít seem to find the single girls this is a decent option. The more girls you send letters to, the better your chances of getting a live response. In my opinion itís better odds than going to clubs and bars.

3) Meeting chicks at random- Remember your manners when you do meet someone cute at the book store. Donít oogle over her boobs or push to get a phone number too hastily. This is where taking care of yourself and being neat, clean, and odor free comes in handy. You never know when a cute single girl will cross your path. The better you look the better your chances of snagging a phone number.

4) If you get a phone number, donít harass the poor girl, push for a date before sheís sure about you or directly ask her if she likes you. Never back her into a corner where she must make a decision about her interests in you before she even gets to know you.

5) Rejection: Not every girl who crosses your path is going to swoon with passion if you walk over and say "Hello". In fact some might not like you at all. Be prepared to take some rejection. after all it's not State law that every female should find you attractive. Everyone's got their own taste, it's nothing personal. For every girl who gives you the ďletís just be friendsĒ line of doom has other female friends who might think your Yoda doll collection is cute.

Natís advice for the male SwingerÖ Is not going to be included in this therapy session because no relevant questions or concerns have been conveyedÖ

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Friday, August 09, 2002 - 02:42 am:

Whoah.

(I was impersonating Keanu Reeves. Whattaya think?) :)

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Friday, August 09, 2002 - 08:41 am:

"Whoah." What? Was it something I said? I'm just trying to help you single boys out.

Bry: Techno, Trance and House Music is still played in clubs, just not the one your roomate picks =)Then again, I know nothing of the club scene in Syracuse.

By Technomage (Houdini) on Friday, February 07, 2003 - 03:54 pm:

More Wrestling Than Dancing - Joe Millionaire and reality

By Technomage (Houdini) on Friday, February 07, 2003 - 04:20 pm:

In just seven days valentine's day will be upon us again.

Ahh yes, a phony holiday that is the source of stress and clinical depression for millions of American men and women each and every year.

If you are single (neither married , in a relationship or dating someone), the holiday is a in your face reminder.

If people celebrated it quietly it wouldn't be so bad. But with the comercial aspects of valentines day, it is impossible to get away from it, unless of course you live tucked away in some mountain cabin or something.


Then there is the threat of married or otherwise non-single friends who choose share way too much about how they are planing the perfect valienties day.

I recall one year past where a very close friend of mine actually wanted my advice on how to plan the perfect romantic date for her then live-in boyfriend. Of course I helped her, but part of me just wanted to say, "SHUT UP, I DONT FARGING CARE. WHAT IS WITH YOU WOMEN AND THIS HOLIDAY ANYWAY?"

Thankfully she doesn't read this board. :)

But ugh, the holiday is not cool at all.

It's not much better if you are in a relationship either.

Why spend a ton of money on a planned holiday that has absolutely no spontenety to it, and is way to fricking comercial anyway, when you can
plan your own private special day that nobody else shares but you and the person you love?

I have a particular female friend who doesn't belive in valentines day or even doing anything special on her wedding aniversary.

She instead prefers suprise romantic moments and gifts instead the convential ones.

(Christmas and her birthday are noted exceptions to this.)

Reason?

If somebody marks down on a calandar that
you have to be romantic with your husband/wife,
bf/gf whatever every Feb 14. It lends itself to the notion that you can ignore being special the
rest of the time.

Of course every rule has its exception, but i find it so strange that in our modern culture
we formally have to declare official days to be good to those we love.

All it serves to do is make the greeting card companies florists, and candy makers of the world rich.. oh and anoy the hell out of single folk.

Boycott valentines day!!

By Vengence is Mine (Knight_Hawk) on Saturday, February 08, 2003 - 04:35 pm:

Take up the call,

BOYCOTT VALENTINES DAY!!

BOYCOTT VALENTINES DAY!!

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 09:42 am:

ummmm... No? :)

Valentine's Day is actually a recognized holiday, since most saints have a day of recognition attached to them. And since St. Valentine is the patron saint of lovers, it only makes sense that lovers use that particular day to express how they feel about each other. Now, as far as greeting card companies and florists and candy companies go, there are very few holidays they HAVEN'T corrupted. I mean, St. Patrick's day used to be used to recognize St. Patrick and all he did for Ireland. Now, it's just another excuse to get really really REALLY drunk.

Now, as far as not feeling that Valentine's day is your type of thing to celebrate, fine. Don't celebrate it. And while I do tend to agree that it is more of a day for the ladies, I can tell you that the more you pamper your female companion, the more likely you are to receive, well, 'rewards and special recognition' from her. At the very least, Valentine's day is a 'guaranteed nookie' day for most guys in some sort of relationship (unless they are doing something horribly horribly wrong). And while I do sympathize somewhat with our less fortunate single companions, at the very least Valentine's day can be used to make secret crushes known or even take the chance to spark up a new romance. What is life without a little risk and adventure?

As far as boycotting the holiday, I dunno if that's gonna really make that much of an impact. I mean, shutting yourself in your home and turning off the lights and feeling sorry for yourself for some imagined shortcomings is not the solution to any problem. Frankly, it's a really bad attitude to have. So I say, rather than being a sourpuss and complaining how the whole world is in love except for you, go out and GET in love. I am a firm believer in the statement that there is somebody out there for everybody. So get out there and find somebody. Don't just wait for it to happen, MAKE it happen.

And if you can't do that, look in the phonebook or on the internet; there are plenty of places where $300 can go a very long way. :)

By Starlit simulacron (Ranger) on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 04:47 pm:

Hey! What do you mean "women and this holiday"
Like I give a toss about it normally - it is however the best excuse out there to get post holiday discounted chocolates

By Technomage (Houdini) on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 08:10 am:

Your right of course Faye. I should know better then to speak in general terms like "women and this holiday". For every trend a counter-trend, and every rule, an exception, perhaps even several.

But it would really weaken the emotional passion of my argument if I had to force myself to qualify my statement just for the sake of avoiding a hasty overgeneralization. ;)

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 12:00 pm:

I ordered a secret teddy-bear-gram from Vermont Teddy Bears to be delivered to Brenna's office today. It's a 15-inch bear wearing jeans, a white T-shirt, shades, and a little red "love" tattoo in the shape of a heart on his left arm. I also ordered the little velvet rose bouquet, so he's gonna be holding that. I hope she likes it, cuz it was Friggin EXPENSIVE, especially since I ordered it last night for immediate guaranteed overnight delivery...

Oh, right... Sorry Bry and Damien. Didn't mean to share my happiness with ya. I forgot you 2 were boycotting today. :)

By Starlit simulacron (Ranger) on Sunday, February 16, 2003 - 04:51 pm:

Well...did she like it?

By The Chosen One (Buffy) on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 11:16 am:

Yes I did. Its sooooooooooooooooooo cute! I love it.


Buffy

By Technomage (Houdini) on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 11:27 am:

A friend of mine set me up on a date with this nice girl who she works with. It went really well. We had a great time. Things are great for date number 2 right?

Wrong.

I remembered alot of the details that she shared about her life over dinner and desert, and could recall them at a moments notice.

So you think I would have remembered that she told me she was going in for a medical procedure
on Wednesday and wasn't going to be available then.

What did I do? I called her on Monday asked if she was free Wednesday evening. My crappy short term memory failed me when I needed yet again!!

I felt like such a arse.

By Ms. Vice (Nat) on Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 07:18 am:

Don't beat yourself up, everyone get their dates mixed up, its trivial. I doubt she'll hold it against you, so don't obess over it. If she give you any crap over it, say something sweet to make her feel a loser for getting upset like "I think our first date went so well that the pleasant thought of seeing you again made me lose track of the date :D"

I dunno, if she ends up being a snippity over something so small don't waste your time with her, she's probably a bitch.