It should have been the highlight of their lives.

Chiefs guard Dave Szott and his wife, Andrea, were living in a new home in the countryside south of Greenwood, Mo. They were proud parents of a baby boy. The Chiefs were winning, on their way to the best record in the NFL.

But amid the excitement of a successful football season and the thrills of last-minute victories, the Szotts were trapped in a nightmare every parent fears.

Something was wrong with their infant son, Shane.

He screamed every waking minute, and no amount of comforting would quiet him. He was throwing up after every bottle, sometimes again hours later. When he got to the age at which his eyes should have followed movement, they didn't.

It was a tough year as the Szotts waited while doctors ran test after test before deciding Shane had cerebral palsy, a motor disorder resulting from damage to the central nervous system. It was a year that strained their marriage and tested their faith.

"We are still coping with it," said Dave, his normally quiet voice dropping even lower. "I still say to myself that when I see the Lord, I am going to ask, `Why?' if I haven't already figured it out by then. But you know how consuming the season can be . We were both consumed by the season.

"There wasn't really time to say, `Why?' It was a matter of let's deal with what we have."

What the Szotts have is a beautiful little boy whose mental capabilities are far ahead of his physical abilities right now. And what they have is a marriage and faith made stronger by the hardship.

"We have had to really lean on our faith and learn to trust God," Andrea said. "We have to believe he has a plan. We don't believe he makes mistakes. So he has a plan for Shane."

Part of the plan, the Szotts believe, is sharing their experience with other parents who are living through the heartbreak of seeing a loved one suffer.

The couple already was active in fund raising for the Children's Center for the Visually Impaired through a "Szott for Tots" campaign. United Cerebral Palsy will be a partner in the project with the Children's Center this year.

The tie-in of the two charities is a natural. About 60 percent of children who have cerebral palsy also have vision problems.

Szott first began working with the Children's Center because his brother Kevin has a degenerative eye disease and is legally blind.

"We wanted to continue to support CCVI, and with Dave's brother, that is very dear to us," Andrea said. "But our heart lies with both things now."

Sharing the faith

Shane is 17 months old. The Szotts have known for about seven months he had cerebral palsy. He goes to play groups frequently. He receives some type of therapy five days a week. He cannot crawl yet, and he is not able to sit by himself without support.

The Szotts have been told if Shane is able to sit by himself by the time he is 2 years old, he could be crawling by 31/2 or 4 and could walk eventually.

Dave and Andrea Szott decided to talk about their experience for two reasons. They obviously want to help raise as much money as possible for the Children's Center for the Visually Impaired and United Cerebral Palsy. Last year's campaign raised about $ 25,000, and along with a gift from Hallmark Cards of a site near 31st and Main streets, the Children's Center will soon begin plans for its own building.

More important for the Szotts is that they hope others feel less helpless in raising a child with a disability.

"It would be easy to throw up 10-foot gates around this place and not let anyone in or let anyone know about our problem," Dave said. "The hard thing is to expose it."

The divorce rate among couples whose children are diagnosed with cerebral palsy soars well above 50 percent in the first five years of the child's life.

And although the Szotts are different from many couples in the respect that his salary as a professional athlete can provide adequate financial support for Shane's lifetime needs, all families go through an emotional roller coaster.

Already, Andrea has a new friend whose twin daughters both have disabilities. One is blind; the other has cerebral palsy.

"When I had difficult days, I only had to think about her because I have it made compared to her," Andrea said. "Her girls were almost 2 when I met her, and she had never told anybody -- not her family, not anyone -- that her daughter was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

"She thought there was such a stigma attached to it. It was something she could not face."

Frustrating times

Frequently families face it alone. On the Chiefs, only Szott's closest friends were aware of what was going on in his personal life. Szott arrived at work about 6:30 a.m. for weightlifting in the morning. Then there were meetings, practice and film study. He frequently did not arrive home until 6 p.m.

And he was the lucky one.

"I was fortunate because I had a job to go to," Dave said. "Andrea was here all day. Sometimes when I would come home, Andrea would be totally frustrated to the point where she was getting after Shane. I was defending him because I had not been around to understand what she was going through.

"After a while she said, `Why are you ganging up on me?' "

Andrea said: "At that point we realized it was not us against each other or us against Shane either. It was something we had to learn to do our best to get through together."

Still it was trying. Neither had the emotional energy to support anyone other than each other.

"Around the team and around the locker room, I was usually a guy who was upbeat and always happy," Szott said. "Last year I really couldn't fulfill that role. It was basically: `Dave, you have to take care of your business and then go home and take care of home.'

"Thinking back, if the season hadn't gone like it did, I probably couldn't have done it. I probably would have broken. If we weren't winning every game -- some by miracles -- and leading the league...I just don't know."

Andrea agrees that it was the hardest year of her life as well.

"There is a point, especially as a mother, you say: `What did I do wrong?' " Andrea said. "I don't drink. I don't smoke. I exercise. But there comes a point where you say, `We are not going to know the answers.'

"I had a friend say to me that God chose us to be Shane's parents because he knew that we could handle it and do the best we could. We have a strong faith and a strong marriage. And it was still really difficult for us to deal with the things we were going through.

"But I feel like the trials are when you grow. When you are at the top of the mountain and everything is good you like to have those times. But that doesn't seem to be the time when you really learn and grow.

"This last year we have done a lot of growing."

All content (c) 1996 The Kansas City Star