Ken's Adventures in Cyberspace

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About two weeks ago, I fell down a deep dark hole, sort of like in "Alice in Wonderland." As I was falling, I saw lots of friends. I floated by Jeremy, who handed me a Monty Python CD. Joe went flying by, but not before giving me a Denis Leary concert tape. Christie floated along side of me for a bit, singing Hootie and the Blowfish songs. Theresa passed by, stopping to chat about the Rangers. Cam spiraled down the hole, bringing Marc along with him.

I landed right in the middle of Computer Science House. After I dusted myself off, I went looking for the reason I was here. In the hallways of CSH, I ran into an Eval Slave and a House Imp. They pointed me to the calandar of social events planned, which included a lively chat session in the lounge about CSH house history. The imp then pushed me into a dark room and locked the door.

After I found the light switch, all I could see was a bunch of sports stuff. In one corner of the room, I saw the set of ESPN's SportsCenter. Sitting at the desk were Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann. They were having an argument over which sport would be first in the night's broadcast. Dan wanted basketball, but Keith wanted hockey. I jumped in and suggested volleyball, but they just laughed me off. They briefly considered baseball, but they knew that Chris Berman would cover that later, mostly about the surprising New York Mets. They finally made a decision: soccer. They figured they would do something different for a change.

Just as they were finishing up that night's show, I was grabbed from behind and pulled back into the hallway... by myself!! As you can imagine, I was quite shocked. At first, I couldn't respond, bu the other me me said "Relax!! I'm just here to take me... I mean you... to see your... I mean my.. history." We didn't have to travel too far, as I took myself to see S.C.U.M.. I was quite happy to see the guys again. But that was a short lived visit, as he dug into myself to show me our personality, that of an ENFP. He also showed the accomplishments on our resume. He then quickly went through the places I've lived, Long Island, and Maryland. I also visited the Montgomery County Public Schools, where I am a volunteer. And then I... er... he... left, leaving me stranded in Ronald McNair Elementary School..

I went to the library and found The Compleat Works Of William Shakespeare. I read that for a while, then found Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky. I read that for a bit, quite a bit in fact, and then put the book away. I liked baseball, so I found the classic baseball poem, Casey at the Bat. On the next page was the followup, also a great poem, Casey's Revenge.

Reading that poetry inspired me, so I sat and wrote some of my own. I parodied the Mighty Casey, writing a poem entitled Messier On The Ice. Then I wrote some more: Virginity, Raindrops, My Spirit, and Together. After that writing binge, I read some more: "Punching Out", by Jim Daniels. I enjoyed it so much, I wrote a critique of it. After finishing that, I left the library. The next thing I saw was blackness... I had fallen into another hole.

This time, however, I had fallen up. On the way up, I was passed by Dilbert and Dogbert. They offered a membership in Dogbert's New Ruling Class, but I told them I was already in. The Festrunk Brothers from Saturday Night Live wanted to go pick up women. I was too busy, I told them. Then, Scorpion from Mortal Kombat and Ken from Street Fighter II were fighting in mid-air, with Orchid from Killer Instinct following right behind them. I thought I was in a dream world... or maybe I was?!?!?!

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April 16, 1996