Today I was at a graduation party for a friend. As it turned out, She was supposed to come as well, no one knowing who she was, with regards to me. After a while at the party (after I had found out about this), I finally told a small group who She was, as they have already heard the story.

She wasn't there, but what if she was?

I wonder if we would have talked to, or even about each other. From what I'm told, she has never made any mention of me. But maybe she has, in the same way I do: vaguely. If we did talk, could it happen without conjuring up all of the things that have happened in the past? The real story is between her and I, and that will never be completely told. I've been told about things that make it look as if I have hurt her more than I knew about. I think she knows that I still love her, and that may be part of the problem.

I wish that she had been at the party, and that the pain I inflicted upon her never have happened. Then we could talk without tension or problems with each other.